The Broken Places

Ernest Hemingway once wrote, the world breaks everyone, and afterward many are stronger at The Broken Places. This deeply personal episode is going to have nothing to do with business, and everything to do with business. I'm Howard Mann and this is the Business Brickyard Podcast. I wish I could remember where I first heard that Hemingway quote but it is one that I remind myself of and have shared with countless friends and clients over the years. As I thought about the year 2020 and all through this pandemic has been, I was reminded of it again.

It resonates with me because if you have lived a while and I am in my fifty fourth year on this planet, the world will kick you in the teeth or much further south and try to break you. Over my thirty plus year career, I have owned businesses that teetered on the brink of bankruptcy. I've had relationships fail, felt the stress that comes when your child endures pain and I felt the deep sorrow from the loss of a loved one. Over five years ago, all within the span of six short months, my marriage ended, my income plummeted and I lost someone close to me after a long battle with cancer. It broke me in a lot of places.

By the end of it all, I had unintentionally lost over 30 pounds and vividly remember sitting, collapsed and thoroughly defeated on my couch just staring out the window, frozen in a fog of fear and sadness. I have always considered myself a resilient person and had been knocked down before but this was a lot all at once. How was I going to bounce back? Then I remembered the Hemingway quote. The answer was that I found a way to turn those hard times into lessons learned.

New wisdom that can be learned only by going through the toughest of times would become part of my superpowers. These experiences would create guardrails so I could create a future that would be strengthened by my past, not burdened by it. And that is so much easier to say now than it was to do back then. You see, we can choose to feel we are broken or less than because of what has happened to us or that we are stronger because we have been broken. As the saying goes, what a beautiful thing it is to be able to stand tall and say, I fell apart and I survived.

Five years later, I have just led the turnaround of an amazing boutique real estate development company. I coach and advise a very select group of business owners that are going through tough times and I have some exciting creative endeavors set to launch later this year. I am closer to friends that have always been there for me and most of all, my son is thriving. The Broken Man or a man with two n's in this case, on that couch five years ago was not actually broken. I was just looking at it all the wrong way.

How are you looking at the moments that you think broke you? Time and again, friends and clients explained to me the ways the world has broken them. How they would never trust again or could not believe their business could ever succeed. That the cracks or wounds life had dealt them would never heal. That these wounds would forever make them unable to love, be loved or to succeed.

That they would be seen as a broken person or a bad business person. Every new failed relationship would be used as further proof. Every bad event in their business would be an example that they were cursed. This is when I read or send them the Hemingway quote. Then we discuss it for as long and as often as it takes until they absorb and believe it in their soul.

Let me tell you about Kintsugi pottery. Kintsugi is a centuries old Japanese art affixing broken pottery with the tree sap that has been infused with gold, silver or platinum powder. The end result is a repaired piece that highlights the broken cracks and creates an object that is even more beautiful and brilliant than the original. Let me repeat that. What is broken and put back together is even more beautiful than the original.

This pandemic has been a nonstop barrage of shattering events. Maybe your business has been crushed or wounded. Your relationships tested by being stuck inside for so long. Maybe you have endured the fear of you or those close to you catching COVID or have lost someone to this horrible virus. Where you go from here depends on how you decide to view the cracks this has all created and the ones that you have been carrying from all those years before.

Will they define you or will you see them as your strength and your beauty? You see, life is hard. I remember an old card my father got me as a teenager that read, life is tough, life is hard, here's your fucking Christmas card. My father has a warped sense of humor and the apple fell right next to that tree. But the card was right.

Life is tough, life is hard, but you are stronger as a result. I hope you will use this quote as I have as a source of strength so you can rebuild and make your post pandemic world one of growth, renewal and happiness for you and your family. See you next time. Hey there. Just a few quick notes before you get back to work.

My goal is to make this podcast as useful as it can be for entrepreneurs who are not fulfilled by the businesses that they own. Your feedback, questions, and comments are not just welcome, they're encouraged. So please feel free to email me at h@howardman.com. Also, be sure to jump over to howard man dot com and join my mailing list. When you do, you will get a PDF of my book, Your Business Brickyard, for free and will be first in line when I launch new coaching groups and special events.

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